


Regret isn't enough

by Scotti



Category: Jacksepticeye (Youtube), Markiplier (YouTube), Pewdiepie (Youtube), Phandom ( Youtube), Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8028490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotti/pseuds/Scotti
Summary: It was Jack's mess. He was the one to do it. He killed him, and left. The orginisation had found him and now his friends we're prisoners with him. He had found them and now everything was messed up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pretty long chapter, I can't promise that they're all going to be this long.

They were in the middle of a game when it happened. He couldn’t remember what game they were playing but it honestly doesn’t matter now. The door crashed down and the controllers flew out of everyone’s hands. Strong men pushed them to the ground and pointed guns against the back of their necks. The barrels pressed into the soft flesh of their necks. They were cold and it terrified all of the five boys… except for one, he was used to this. he was used to bullet wounds, cuts and the adrenaline you get after you bash someones head in. That’s why it had happened, it had been years since he last did something for the organisation. He was the leader’s personal hitman. But he was stupid, he thought he could murder his boss and leave the life. He just had to find some friends, he HAD to agree to be in videos with them. that’s how they found him. They fucking tracked his false names, someone must have known about his existence. Now his friends are in trouble, Felix, Dan, Phil and… Mark…  
Poor Mark, He suffered the worst. Maybe because they knew Jack loved him the most. They had separated him from the rest, told Jack that he had been thrown in the cellar and of one of them disobeyed he would die on the spot, that kept everyone calm. He and his friends was in a cell in another part of the building. Mark was in the basement, Jack knew this place in and out. He had been working here since he turned 14, for god’s sake. He wasn’t raised in the way his friends were raised. He had never been loved until he met Mark, that’s why he felt so attached to him. 

~ Jack’s p.o.v.~

I look at everyone’s faces. They look angry and confused. I know there’s nothing I can do to help them. I pull my knees up to my chin, resting my forehead on my knees. The movement must have caught Felix’s attention because before I knew it he had pulled me up to the floor and pushed me up against the cement wall of the cell. 

“ why the FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!?” he screams right in my face. I look at Dan and Phil to try to see how they felt about this. they were just staring at me and Felix, as if they were curious to find out but they didn’t have the desire to do anything to stop Felix.  
“ ‘If you put me down i’ll tell you everything” it came out as bearly a whisper but it sounded like screaming against the silence filling the cell. I look at Felix again, he’s debating it in his mind, I can see it. I let out a sigh of relief when he lets go of my shirt and backs up from me. I immediately sink to the floor again. it takes a few moments before I started talking.

“go on then” Felix says.  
I take a deep breath  
“ well, when i was born I was put in a training program, I’ve never met my mom or my dad, i’ve never had any friends except guns and knives. By the time you turned 14 you got assigned. I got assigned to the leader of the organisation. i was supposed to be with him and when he gave me a name i would kill whoever the name belonged to. otherwise i would act as a bodyguard. When I turned 20 i had enough, i shot my boss in the back of the head and fled. i took new names and spent a year in hiding. i thought i was safe so i went back into the real world. i met you guys, we moved in together and i thought they had forgot about me. but i guess i was wrong. I knew I was taking risks by agreeing to be in videos with you.”  
the cell was quiet for a while, but suddenly Phil spoke up:  
“ why is mark not here? why are we here, but Mark is threatened to be killed if we do something they don’t agree with?”  
it was the first time he had spoken since we were captured. nice to know his priorities is his friends.  
“ i don’t know for sure, but I do have one idea. He was the first one of you I met, he was the first guy to ever be nice to me. I’ve always felt attached to him. I’m not attracted to him or anything but it’s difficult to not have feelings for the first person who was nice to you, ya’ know? They must have known that. Love, even between friends is complicated. Mark was the most obvious choice to keep me from killing someone for doing this. I know when I’m beat”  
“ So, we’re not breaking out of here awesomely?” Felix says  
I shoot him a look.  
“ guess not.” he continues.  
I let my forehead rest against my knees again. i run my fingers through my green hair and pull lightly. ‘how the fuck am i going to get out of this mess?’  
I hear the cell door open and i feel myself being dragged up to my feet. I don’t know who he is. I don’t recognise his face. He’s probably one of the people who was hired after i left. he takes a fistfull of my hair and pull it so my neck become exposed. I feel him wrap something around my neck and then he lets go of my hair. I bring my hand up to the strange object around my neck. i know what it is, it’s a shock collar. We’ve used these in videos before. I guess Mark wasn’t enough protection for them. I did shoot my boss in the head so i can’t blame them. he attaches a leash to the collar and pulls harshly. it feels like my neck is going to snap off.  
“ you come with me. others: follow nicely or I won’t hesitate to put a bullet in your skull. you’re not of importance to us.”  
They remain still, staring at the guard. Phil nods slowly. He walks out of the cell and pulls me after him. I can hear the others follow us.  
“ where is mark? I need to know th- Ack!!” Shock waves ring through my body, sparking out into my fingertips. It wasn’t too painful but it surprised me.  
“ It’s not your place to ask questions” i look up at him and grit my teeth. He pulls the leash harshly again and starts walking again. I remain silent the rest of the way. He stops and i nearly walk into him because of lack of warning. He takes out four pieces of cloth and blindfolds the four of us. He blindfolded me first but my guess is that he blindfolded the others as well. I smile on the inside, as if don’t know where we’re going. We walk for a little while, maybe 10 minutes. During the whole time the guard keeps pulling on my collar just a bit too hard. I fucking hate him. I hear a door open and suddenly we stop. the leash unhooks from the collar I’m wearing and I get pushed down onto my knees. It sounds like they treated the others the same. Someone rips off my blindfold, I look around the room. Guard, Guard, They guy who looks like the new leader, More guards and someone who looks beat up. Wait a minute, that’s Mark!, he looks awful, his lip was split, he had bruises all over his face and his clothes had several bloodstains.  
“ So, Sean.” I look in the direction where the voice came from. it was from the new leader. He looked so damn pleased with himself.  
“ it’s Jack” i shoot at him. his face still had the shit-eating grin from earlier.  
“ Right, your fake names… i’m sorry if i can’t keep up, there’s been so many. anyways, it’s good to have you here on your knees. I’ve been dreaming about this moment forever.”  
“ i hardly think that’s true. it’s only been 6 years.”  
“not taking any bullshit huh? well, we’ll stop with the flirting then. I guess you’ve already figured out our operation.” he had a stern look on his face now.  
“yes.”  
“ Oh, explain then” He leans back into his chair and throws his right leg over the armrest. It was almost playful now, almost. In his mind this is a game, a game filled with blood and backstabbing, but a game nonetheless.  
“ You still do the same things that we used to do. Sell drugs to dealers, kill whoever get in our way and whore innocent girls out to dance in front of perverts… but there’s new stuff too right?... my best guess is that there is more murder, killing people on demand. You look like a murder type of guy. You’re afraid of me even though you never will admit it, that’s why Mark was enough protection. Speaking of him, i’d really appreciate it if you would let him go.”  
I look over at Mark to see if he would react. He did, he looked up at me. I tried to tell him with my eyes to hold on and an he would be alright before he knew it. I don’t know if it was working. He stares at me for a couple seconds with an emotionless face but then he drops his head down again. He stares at the floor without moving.  
I feel my head being turned and suddenly I’m staring up at the leader again.  
“ tsk tsk tsk, little Jackaboy losing focus again. this was always a problem with you, I’ve been told.” he squeeze my face a little harder, I probably look like a fish right now.  
“ well, we can’t have that” he continues, “ Release Mark!” He looks over to where mark is. After a little while i hear two people dragging something over to me. I can’t help but grin a little. I earn a slap in the face because of it.  
“I thought I told you to pay attention…” He smiles.  
“ I’m confused, why do you want me here anyways? It’s not like I’m going to help you with anything.” i ask him. I quickly realise that I shouldn’t have done that. His eyes light up with a light that I can only describe as insanity. He smiles in a terrifying smile that shows off his teeth.  
“ Oh, you think we need you? no, i don’t need you or your friends. Do you remember the boss? I was his best comrade and his right hand. When you shot him i was so upset, oh so upset. I swore that day that i would live up to his legacy and find the one who did that to him and raise hell upon the person. And imagine how happy i became when I found out it was you, lil’ ol’ Ashton” He lets go of my face and sits back into his chair  
FUCK… they weren’t supposed to know that. no one was supposed to know that. I feel the panic in my body grow. I look around the room. the guards are smirking, fuckos. I look over to Mark and the others, it was probably only in my mind but they looked like they had been stabbed in the heart by a spear of heartache and betrayal. I was panicking, my mind was racing.  
“ FUCK YOU!!” i stand up with a raised fist, storming towards the leader who’s name i never caught. Electricity run through my body and at first i try to ignore it but it suddenly become more intense and i can’t stand it any longer. I fall to the ground, hands coming up to tug at the collar. Me heels and head digs into the cold, dirty cement. It turned off and i start to pant.  
“ No one knows that! You fucker!”  
“ Don’t be like that Ash… “  
“ Don’t fucking call me that!! … how did you know? You called me Sean earlier… I thought you wouldn’t know.”  
“ I told you I would raise hell upon you, didn’t I? Well, I’m going to give you 24 hours to talk among yourselves and then I’ll see what I’ll do with you.” he looks over to the same guard that took us here. “ would you be so kind and put them back into the cell?”  
He nods and picks me up from the ground. I try to claw his face with my fingernails or bite him. He simply puts some of his fingers into my mouth and drags me over to to the wall. He pushes a button on the wall and it reveals a secret compartment. He picks up a ball gag and secures it around my head. I let him do it because I know it won’t be in my favour if I do. I growl at him before he puts the gag into my mouth. He then ties my hands behind my back and throws me over his shoulder. He starts to carry me out of the room. I saw how one of the other guards points a gun at the Mark and the others. They stand up and follows the guard that carries me. I was positioned so i could see back of where we’re walking. We aren’t wearing blindfolds so I guess they forgot about that. I could see the looks on everyone’s faces. Dan, Phil and Felix are staring into the ground. But Mark is staring at me, he was angry. He was bleeding from the bruise on his lip and he was straining his jaw. I must look ridiculous right now. The gag is making me produce too much saliva and I can feel it running down my chin and some of it even down my neck. I probably have a bruise forming on my neck from the shock collar. I continue to stare at Mark during the whole walk. We finally reach the cell and he puts me down on the ground and takes the gag out of my mouth. He unties the ropes and throws me into the cell. The others walk in as well. The first thing Mark does is lie down one of the bunks.  
“ I’ve missed this. I’m such a first world person. 4 days without a bed and I become a mess.” he says. I wipe the saliva of my chin and say:  
“ Be glad you have that luxury.”  
“ Fuck you…” it wasn’t playful like it usually was, this was serious.  
“ well, not with that attitude…”  
He looks at me, “ not funny... “  
“ hey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood, stop being a baby, you’re going to be fine.”  
He sits up on the bunk. “ This is your mess, why are we here? I took pity on you and we became friends. I didn’t ask for this, no one of us did.” he gestures around the room. I look around they nod a little.  
“ you got hurt, you’re bleeding, you don’t have to bitch about it. It’s not like they hurt you bad. You’ll be fine. Lemme see” I move towards him but before I’m able to do anything he pushes me away.  
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Mark yells. I move away from him. I sit on another bunk and sigh.  
“ what the fuck do you want from me here? This is not my fault. I thought that i was done. Merk, I’m sorry that you got hurt, but that’s nothing compared to what I’m used to so shut the fuck up.” Mark stays silent but doesn’t move.  
“ we just want to understand” Dan says.  
“ oh. Right, It’s not like I’ve explained everything to you already, but I guess i can go through it again. I was a hitman, killed my boss and now we’re stuck here… Is there more to understand?” I look around to them, they look incredibly irritated.  
“ Well, not when you talk like that. You fucking wanker.” Dan says. I lie down on the bed. I pull my hair and pull on the collar I’m still wearing.  
“ See it like this, what would you do if you were in my shoes. Go ahead! Tell me.” I look directly at Mark. He stays silent. I stare at him for a couple of minutes. No one moves.  
“ Nothing? Not ever a little? Are you serious? Mark, I’m sorry you were the one who got hurt… You were the first one to genuinely smile at me. I got attached slash attracted to you. “ he flinched when I said the word ‘ attracted’ but he doesn’t move from his bunk. I continue “But did I ever do something to make you uncomfortable?... No, I did not! I kept quiet about my feelings and went on with my life. Let me look at your wounds and help you and then we can go to sleep and tomorrow we will what Mr Doucheface have in store for us.” He rolls over to his side, facing the wall. I let out a deep sigh and do the same. I stare at the wall. My eyes begin to fill with tears. I try to wipe them away but it isn’t working. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I see blue hair in the corner of my eye, it’s Felix.  
“ you okay man? “ he asks. He rubs my shoulder in small circles.  
“ sure, the guy who used to be my best friend doesn’t even want to look at me and I brought all of my best friends into a mess I can’t undo. But I’m emotionally stable.” I say. I’m a jerk, I know that.  
“ We know that, it’s just.... We’ve been clean cut boys for our whole lives and being thrown into this is a bit overwhelming. It’s kinda hard to not be mad at you when you’re the one who caused it. “  
“ oh wow, that makes me feel so much better.” I push his hand away from my shoulder and get off the bunk. I walk over to Mark. I roll him over and grab his face. He tries to push me away but I push him down and straddle him. I push my knees tightly around him, trapping his arms so he wasn’t able to move them. I take a fistful of his hair and push his head down into the mattress.  
“ GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!” He yells and spits onto my face. I wipe it off me with my free and and stare him directly in the eyes  
“ listen up, you little fuckwad. You’re in here, tough shit! You can’t keep whining because that’s not how we do things here. We suck it up and even if the person has tried to kill you before you work with them as if nothing happened. This is my fault, I know but it’s your choice how you react to it. You can be mad at me. Blaming me for not being honest but would you have believed me if did tell you. You’re a big baby who is putting his own personal feelings before everyone’s safety. I can’t protect the others if you keep fighting me. Let me get you safe and then you can never talk to me again.” It felt like my heart broke in half when i said it. Rips into two pieces and bleeding out good memories over the floor and into the drain. Being thrown out into the ocean like the garbage it was to Mark. “ I don’t want it to happen but I don’t have control over your decisions. Now, would you please let me make sure you’re okay. Your wounds look like they’re becoming worse.” He looked me right in they eyes for a couple seconds before looking away.  
“Thank you.” I soften my grip on his hair to test if he would struggle, he didn’t. I released his hair completely and reach out to touch his wounds. His eyes snap shut in pain. My hands was roaming all over his face. My thumb ran over his lips, feeling over the cut on his bottom lip. I rested my right hand over his right cheek and I brought my left hand to feel over the places where his shirt was bloodstained. He flinched when I touched right above his bellybutton. I scooted back so I was sitting on his legs rather than his… let’s just say lower abdomen. I pull up his shirt to see the damage. It looks gnarly. His stomach is covered in small cuts and he had a deep cut starting above his bellybutton going down through his scars disappearing into his trousers. I notice that he has several burns. They don’t look too big so I’m guessing they burned him with cigarettes, they used to do that to me when I was younger. I spend some time inspecting the injuries. When I decide it was enough i move off him. I walk over to the cell door and sit beside it. I rest my head against the wall and close my eyes. I’ve always loved being on the floor.  
“ Jack, I just realised something. Does all of this mean that you’re a virgin?” My eyes flew up and my head turned to Dan who was the one who asked the question. My cheeks turn red and my mouth hang open.  
“ He is!!!” Dan says excitedly. He walks over to me, sits down beside me and gently shoves me. “ I knew you was lying when you told us about your first time. You were so flustered and you have NO game, man! You’re such a little liar!” He was giggling. The sound filled the room and it made everyone else start laughing as well. Even I start laughing, it felt like we weren’t the prisoners of a crime organisation but sitting in the livingroom joking about some stupid show or laughing at something stupid Mark had said. That was until Phil broke the laughter.  
“ Depending on the situation you’ll probably die one too.” We all went quiet within an instant.  
“ PHIL! That was so unnecessary!!” Dan shouted.  
“ It’s fine, I think we just should get some rest, don’t you think?” I ask. They all nod and lie down on different bunks. I continue to sit on the floor. I wait for all the others to fall asleep until I close my eyes and rest my head against the cell wall. 

I wake up to the feeling to someone shaking me.  
“ Fudgesicles! What the fuck do you want? “ I say in shock. I look up to the one shaking me. It was one of the guards. “ Is it time already?” I asked. He didn’t move, He just turns me over and pushes me into the floor. My cheek presses into the floor and I can feel a bruise forming over my eyebrow. He crosses my arms behind my back and I feel cool metal being wrapped around my wrists.  
“Someone is a bdsm fanatic” I mutter under my breath. He pushes my head sharply into the floor and when I open my eyes I can see blood on the floor. He pulls my head up by my hair and turns me onto my back. He pulls my mouth open and shoves a piece of cotton into my mouth and ties a bandana over my mouth. I raise my eyebrow at him and he pulls me up by my hair. I wobble a little when my feet touch the ground. I see the others and they’ve gotten the same treatment as me. They aren’t bleeding so I guess my guard is in a bad mood. The four other guards pick up the others and throws them over their shoulder. I expect that to happen to me but instead the others walked out leaving me and the guard in the room. He takes a strong grip on my upper arm and drags me out of the room. I try to keep up but he’s walking to fast and they injuries I’ve gotten over the last few days are starting to get to me. When he stops I fall to the ground. My green hair being completely drenched in the blood on the ground. Four bodies land beside me and the soul of a boot pushes me into the ground. My face is being covered in the blood and I can feel it going into the cut on my forehead. I’m going to have so many diseases if I get out of this alive.  
“ alright, you can let him go.” It’s the leader, I recognise his voice. The boot lifts off my back and I get dragged up into a sitting position. My hair is sticking to my forehead and blood is dripping from my chin onto my shirt. I look up at him through hooded eyes. I spit out the dirt and blood that somehow found its way into my mouth.  
“ Why thank you.” I said sarcastically.  
“ Don’t be like that, Ashie” he says. I give him an evil eye. He grins and I see that some of his teeth are sharpened into points. That’s dumb.  
“Time for hell.” he says. I giggle and say:  
“ you had an opportunity to make it cool and you ruined it.” I flash him a smile. He comes closer to me and pushes my head to the side. He wipes the dirt of my shoulder and leans in. He presses his lips to where my neck and shoulder connected. He stays like that for a couple seconds and it makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing. Then I feel sharp points pushing into my shoulder. I panic and tries to push him away but he’s holding me down. It feels like he’s sucking the blood out of me, like he’s a vampire. I let out a scream and that only makes him sink his teeth in deeper. My eyes fill with tears and they flow out, washing away the dirt sticking to my cheeks. My screams fill the room and that only seems to keep him going. After a couple of minutes he stops. I feel myself falling but he grabs my face to keep me up. He stares at me and after a while I notice his smile. He had blood all over his face a piece of meat in between his teeth. I groan and watch him chew and swallow the muscle that was previously attached to my shoulder. I was completely limp in his grip. My body weak from and the injuries my body has taken the last couple of days. He lets go of me and I fall to the ground. I try to push myself up but it just ends up with me falling to back onto the ground.  
“ Please.” I whispered into the ground.  
“ oh? Little Ashie is begging now.” He looks over at Mark and the others. “Did you make him soft? Did you turn him into putty. This is why i don’t have real friends. Guns are better than people.” He stands up. “ Put him in the chair. Same with the others.” Someone picks me up and throws me into a chair. I bearly register that it’s happening before I was strapped down in the chair. I turn my head and see that the others also were strapped down and collars around their necks. I scream when I feel electricity going through my body. It sparked out in my fingertips. It stops and I can hear the others screams. I never meant for this to happen. I felt it happen again and I scream out  
“ Your name is Thomas Garrett. I’m sorry for killing your brother.” The screams stop and a shadow towers over me. A slap lands on my cheek and someone’s fingernails digs into my cheek.  
“ You know nothing” His voice has changed. It’s filled with regret and anger. He unbuckles my straps and throws me down on the floor again. He then walks over to Mark and releases him too. He calls over two guards and gives them silent orders. One of them takes my wrist and drags me over to a small cell. He throws me and Mark into it, locks the door and leaves.  
“ I’m sorry.” I tell him.  
“ it’s a bit too late for that isn’t it?” he answers.  
“ I guess you’re right.” I use all of my energy to crawl up to a corner, curling up into a ball. Tears fill my eyes, I can still hear the screams from Felix, Dan and Phil from the other room. Neither me or Mark speak for a while. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, I don’t move.  
“ Hey, if it makes you feel a little better I would still like to be friends after this.” He says softly. “ and I weirdly liked it when you felt over my scars earlier.”  
“You’re weird.” I whisper. “I don’t want to talk about it.” he nods. He grabs my shoulder and makes me lean on him. I close my eyes and go to sleep. When I wake up it’s way to bright in the cell. I’m still leaning on Mark. He’s awake and he’s looking at me. I feel more rested so bring my head up.  
“ you’re being creepy” I say. He leans closer and I feel his lips connect with my cheek. I move away from him.  
“ Mark, I don’t want to make you do something you’ll regret later.” I tell him.  
“ I won’t. “ He kisses my cheek again. I blush and looks down at the floor. “ he continues to kiss my cheek and moves down. He’s kissing all around the bite wound. I feel my breath hitch.  
“ Mark, you can’t do that.” He starts sucking a lovebite into my shoulder. I lean to the side to give him more access. After a while he leans away and turns my head. His lips connects with mine. They’re soft and tastes slightly like blood. I pull away quickly.  
“ Can we not do this until we’re safe.” I ask him. “ I would love for this to happen but I can’t do this until everyone is safe and sound.”  
He nods and kisses my cheek again. He then rests his head against my shoulder.  
“ I’m sorry.” He whispers.  
“It’s not you.”  
“ I… don’t know how to feel.”  
“ Just...please be quiet. “ He listens to me. We sit there for a while. Staring into the wall, memorizing every last detail. I notice that the screams from Dan and the others had stopped. I don’t know if I should be relieved or terrified.


	2. Chapter 2

“ We’ve been sitting here for ages now. When can we talk about it?” Mark asks. The words made me tear up. I know we can’t ever talk about it. Tears stream down my face. They travel down my face and drips off my nose. I let out a sob and immediately clasp a hand over my mouth. The weight of Mark head leaves my shoulder. Tears continue to stream down my face. Sobs rings through the cell, I feel Mark kissing the cheek closest to him, wiping off the tears. I try to push him away but he takes a strong grip around my arms and holds them down.   
“ What’s wrong?” He sounds concerned but I can’t be bothered to answer him. I’m full on crying and I can’t keep calm. Mark keeps kissing my cheek but I keep crying. He takes both of my hands into one hand turns my head with the other. He smashes his lips onto mine. I keep crying, tears staining my cheeks. I can feel his lips moving against mine but I do nothing to help him. He pulls back and catches his breath. He looked at me and wiped away the tears on my cheeks and the ones flowing from my eyes.   
“Hey, please stop. Why are you crying, Jackie?” He asked. That made me push him away.   
“ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?? This can’t happen!!!” I pull myself up from the floor. I take a couple of seconds to calm myself. Repeating the words in my head. ‘ Sunshine, gunpowder, Murder. Sunshine, gunpowder, Murder. Sunshine, gunpowder, murder.’ I’ve used the words for as long as I can remember. They’re words I’ve always loved. They calm me down. I keep going until the tears stop. I open my eyes and stand with my legs wide. I take a deep breath and say:  
“ Mark, this is bad. You’re going to become a target. I can’t keep you safe. I don’t fucking know what to do.” a loud bang created by a guard.  
“ Keep it down!!” he shouted. He looks at me for a second.“ Ashton? How you been buddy?”  
“It’s Jack.” I say emotionlessly. “ And I’ve done really good, doesn’t that show?”. He opens the cell door and walk into it. I instinctively pull Mark up from the floor and stand in front of him. The guard who I remember as William takes a grip on my shirt. He leans closer to my face and I feel his lips touching mine. He isn’t kissing me, his lips were just ghosting over mine. I feel Mark moving behind me but I push him back.   
“ I missed you Ash. You wasn’t here, I had to take care of myself.” He whispers against my lips. I whine softly and try to push him away. He notices and holds me down,one of his hands was on my shoulder and the other was on my waist. He was uncomfortably close to me. He pushes me backwards until my back touches the wall. He takes out a pair of handcuffs and cuffs me to the wall. He smirks at me and turns around.   
“ ‘Sup Mark? You’ve been hitting on my boy, here? I thought this would show that he’s not yours.” He pulls up my shirt to reveal a big scar, starting right below my shoulder going down my chest and stopping beside my bellybutton. I look down on the floor, avoiding Marks gaze. I feel William staring at my chest.   
“ I gave him this to show every fucker like you, that’s he’s not for sale.” he continues. Will drops my shirt and walks closer to Mark. Mark stumbles backwards and I hear him hitting the cement of the wall. When I hear someone being punched I turn my head and see Mark with a new bruise on his cheek and William with blood on his fist. I tug on my cuffs and see how Will grabs Mark’s face and pushes him up.   
“ You leave him alone, got that?” He makes Mark nod and continues “ Otherwise you’re never going to see the sun shine again.” he lets go of Mark’s face and pats his cheeks a couple of times.   
“ Have you ever…? I mean…. I thought Jack was a virgin?...” Mark is struggling to get out words. I feel my cheeks turn red again and I hear William chuckle.   
“ Mark, Mark, Mark, get your head out of the gutter. I never did anything to him that he didn’t want to. He was just my little toy, nothing more to that.” William says. I look over at Mark, he looks a bit disturbed.   
“ Will, can I talk to him?” I ask him quietly. He looks over at me and I make eye contact with him.   
“ No?” I tug on my restraints again, trying to break something so I could protect Mark from him. I focus all my energy on it, desperately wanting Will to get out of here. I want to talk to Mark again, look over his wounds.   
“Don’t hurt Mark, I need him! I need Mark!” my scream rings through the cell. Echoing through the building. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I quickĺy look over to see William staring at me.   
“ You need this Dick? You don’t need him. You need a real man to care for you and put you back in your place when you need it. Which I learnt is quite often, you naughty boy.”  
“No! I don’t want to anymore. I don’t like waking up with bruises or having to hide scars. I… don’t want to anymore. “ I ramble out. Will is staring at me emotionless.   
“ Fine. You’re the boss.” He tugs on my collar harshly. He pulls me forwards but the handcuffs stop me, digging into my skin. I scream out, tears flowing out of my eyes. Back in the old days I wouldn’t even have reacted, I wouldn’t made a move. Been as cool as ice and in three minutes I would have been out of here with a body part of the target as proof. Now everything is different. My body isn’t used to pain and I don’t want to kill anyone. I want to protect my friends, nothing more. He rolls his eyes and walks over to my hands. He uncuffs my hands and I rub over the wounds the handcuffs created. I feel him taking a strong grip on my shirt and pulls me against him. He forces his leg in between mine.   
“ You’re such a little buzzkill, you know that?” he whispers. I push him off me, hiding behind Mark. I grip his shoulder, resting my head on his back. I feel Mark trying to toughen up.   
“ Leave him alone” Mark’s voice is shaking.   
“ Mark, drop it.” I whisper into his back, squeezing his shoulder harder. Will gives him a dirty look but doesn’t do anything.   
“ ‘Ve got something for you,” He walks out of the cell and comes back a minute later. He holds out two energy bars. I take them and give one to Mark.   
“ they’re not poisoned, Thomas would be here if it was.” Will says and walk out of the cell. I look after him and when he’s out of my sight I slump down on the floor. I open the wrapper as quick as possible. I bite down on the bar and take a big bite. I hate this flavour but right now it feels like heaven on my tastebuds. I smile and hear how Mark sits down as well.  
“ I’m not going to ask much but I do have one question...it’s sort of answered already but I want to for sure… I thought you were straight? I know we kissed and all that but, I want to know.” I stay silent for a while. But then I say with false strength  
“ I’m bisexual, but I thought it would be easier to hide my feelings if you didn’t know I like men.”   
“ What feelings?”   
“ My feelings for you.”   
It was silent, except for the noises my mouth created by eating the energy bar.  
“ M...Me?” I nodded and licked the wrapper. “ But… you never… why didn’t you tell me?” I stare at him for a couple of seconds.  
“ You honestly didn’t think I would tell you. I was terrified you would realise. I was acting macho the whole time so you wouldn’t realise I like dick.”   
“ You weren’t macho, you were a little lepruchan.” Mark says and ruffles my hair. He then takes out the energy bar and eats it quickly. He leans closer to me, as if he wants a kiss. I quickly realise that is the case and I lean away from him. I fall down on the floor.   
“ Why don’t you want to kiss me?” Mark says irritatedly,  
“ Are you for real? You’re a fucking dick.” I raise myself from the floor. “I can’t fucking deal…” I walk over to the cell door.“ Let me out of here!!” I shout out. A guard walks up and opens the door.   
“ Follow me then.” He says quickly. I walk out and Mark follows me. I walk after him, wondering why they weren’t tying us up like they did before. I look closer at the guard, I remember him! There’s no new guards, I guess some likes me more and doesn’t seem to see me as a threat. We walk for a little bit until we enter a large, white room. There’s no furniture and it smells way too clean in here. There are three bodies lying lifeless on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, writing is going slow right now and I have a bunch of schoolwork I need to get done so I don't know when the next chapter is going to be published. I'm incredibly sorry but I don't know how to get it all done. I will promise that I'll do my best!!!

I run over to the bodies, stopping at the closest one. I turn him over and I look at his face. It’s messed up and bruised but I recognise the familiarity of it. It’s Dan, the others must be Phil and Felix. I put my fingers on his neck, trying to find his pulse. I let out a sigh of relief when I feel the faint pulses against my fingertips. I crawl over to the others and check them too. They’re almost just as bruised but they’re still alive. I sit beside Felix, stroking his hair.  
“ Hey, Fe. open your eyes maybe?” I whisper softly. I lean my head on his chest, pressing my ear against the part of his chest where his heart is.  
“ Felix, please.” I know that if I stay in this position for too long I will mess up his ability to breath so I put my head on the floor beside his head and clutches his arm instead. I lie there, staring at his face. It’s all nasty but he still looks pretty. He’s always been my best friend, he teased me and pretended like he hated me but he always cared for me when I needed it.  
“ You okay, Jack?” Mark asks from the other side of the room. I don’t feel like answering so I stay silent. He walks over to me and try to pick me up from the floor. I fidget, screaming and clawing on his arms. I feel myself being raised to my feet and I turn to look at Mark. He looks almost as awful as Felix. I look at his mouth and see it moving but I can’t hear any sounds. I look into his eyes and see pity. I then do something I thought I would never do. I raise my hand and slap him as hard as I can. The impact hurts my hand but my guess is that it hurt Mark more. He’s hunched over to the side and blood is dripping down onto the white floor. I sit down again, holding Felix’ hand again.  
“ Fe, I’m sorry.. I need you to wake up.” I squeeze his hand and shake him slightly. He coughs and turns over. He’s partly lying over my lap but his face was hanging off my knee. He coughs repeatedly and I rub his back. After a while he stops and I help him up. He leans on me and I pet his hair.  
“It’s going to be okay.” I tell him. He shakes his head pushes himself off me. He sits down with his legs crossed and breathes loudly. I nod a little and crawl over Phil. He has the least injuries. Dan is the worst, Phil doesn’t look worse than Mark, really. I shake him a little and his eyes open.  
“Wha...? Jack? Where’s Dan? “ He asks. I open my mouth but Phil sits up before I can say anything. He looks around and gasps when he sees Dan. He pushes me away from him and crawls over to Dan quickly. I look away from him but I hear his quiet sobs that ring through the room.  
“ Dan, Please. Wake up…” His voice is weak. I hear how Mark walks over to him. “LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!” He yells and continues to sob.  
“ P...Phil?” Dan’s voice was broken and you could bearly hear him over Phils sobs. I look over to Dan and Phil. I see Dan’s head laying over Phils knees and Phil gently caressing it. Mark was standing behind Phil with tears in his eyes. He was still bleeding. Suddenly I hear loud clanking from my left and look over. I see a metal door opening and a guard I don’t recognise dump a black packet in the room. He points at me and then at the packet. He walks out of the rooms and closes the door with a clash. I stand up and walk over to the packet. Inside there is five pairs of new clothes. I smile a little and drag it over to where Felix is sitting. I help him take off his clothes, shutting my eyes when he takes off his underwear. He pats my head when I can look. I help him with putting on the rest of the clothes and smile at him when he’s done. I walk over to Dan and Phil. I help Phil first but when I go to help Dan, Phil bats my hand away. He looks at me like I just overstepped the boundaries. In his defence I kinda did. While Phil helps Dan I walk over to Mark and hand him a pair of the clothes. He raises an eyebrow at me and says  
“What? No help for me?”  
“ I will slap you again.” I say quietly and push the clothes into his chest. He takes them and I move away from him. Both me and Mark change our clothes quickly. When I’m done, hating the way the white shirt scratches against my skin, I look in the box again. There are 5 water bottles inside, I pick them up and throw one to Mark, he catches it. I put two beside Phil and walk over to Felix. I poke his shoulder and he looks at me. He smiles a little when he sees the water bottle and I hand it to him. He takes it and unscrews the cap quickly, brings it to his lips and chugs down half of the bottle. I stay silent and open my bottle and sip from it. It’s not cold but it feels nice against the dryness of my mouth. I drink a little and put it down after a little while. Felix leans on my shoulder, he put his whole body weight on me and I have to brace myself not to fall.  
“ Thank you.” He whispers and I smile a little. I hear someone standing up and then after a while all of the others are in my view. Dan is being held up by Phil, he can’t even hold himself up. Phil tells Mark to hold him while he sits down. Mark does and then positions Dan so he’s sitting in Phils lap and leaning on his chest. Mark then walks over to me and sits beside me.  
“At least everyone’s safe.” He says Phil looks angrily at him. Phil has never been one quick to anger but he’s always been protective of Dan.  
“ Fuck off.” He says and I chuckle a little. I’ve never heard Phil swear before. He strokes Dans hair and keeps telling him that he’s fine.  
“ Mark, can you get me the box?” I ask and he nods and goes up to get it. When he comes back I open it completely. I feel around the walls of it until I find what I was looking for. I smile and pick up the tinier box. It looks identical to the bottom of the box so it was difficult to notice unless you knew what to look for. I open it to see a note and first aid materials. I take the note and put it on the floor, takes out a couple of bandaids and give the box to Phil. I put the some of bandaids on Felix and the rest on Mark. I take the note from the floor and read it quickly. It’s from William. I scrunch up my nose at it, crumble it up into a ball and throw it away. Mark looks at me questioningly but doesn’t say anything. I feel the weight of Felix leave me and he raises his hand to Phil, silently asking him to hand him the box. Phil gives it to him and he takes out a cloth and medical tape. He slightly dampens the middle of the cloth with the water bottle.  
“ Jack, come over here.” He says. I lean towards him and he puts the cloth over the bitewound on my shoulder. I hiss and try to pull away but he grips my hair and keeps me still. He keeps it there for a minute and then secures it with the medical tape. He releases my hair and says  
“ Don’t you dare take it off.” I shake my head and he smiles. I pet his hair and he hits my arm. “Fuck off, man” He says. I chuckle and let go of his hair. I lay down on the floor, almost forgetting why I am here. I feel Felix take my hand and lay down beside me. Mark takes the other and lays down too. I close my eyes, and suddenly the once forgotten memories of this room come into my mind. My breath become irregular and images of dead bodies and misery flicker through my mind. Felix must have noticed because he puts his free and on my head. He pets it softly, it weirdly helps. I roll over and Felix puts his arm around me. I start crying, the realisation and passiveness hitting me. Felix rubs his hand over my back.  
“ Jack.” he says quietly, like he always did when I was feeling down. I push my head towards his chest stopping when my nose was completely pressed against his chest. I feel him pulling us up into a sitting position. I feel another hand feel over my shoulder, It’s Mark. I press my head harder against Felix. I stay like that for a while, surprisingly I’m not crying anymore but I have no desire to move.  
“ Jack, ta det lungt, du mår bra. Du är min bästa vän.”(translation: take it easy, you’re fine. You’re my best friend) Felix said. I smiled a little, it always calms me down when felix speaks swedish. He continues to talk in the language I don’t understand. He only stops when he notices that I’m fully calm and breathing normally. It was all in vain though because in a second a door smashes up and I push myself off from him. I curl up in a ball and pretends I’m not here. It doesn’t help because before I know it I’m being dragged away from Felix and held up by the back of my shirt. I’m looking right at Thomas, his eyes burning into mine. He grabs my face and smiles. He looks at the shoulder where he bit me and his face turns into a frown.  
“ Did I tell you you could do that?” He asks. I shake my head and he pulls the cloth off me.  
“ HEY! What the fuck do you think you’re doing? He is hurt, he should keep it on!” Felix shouts and Thomas lets go of my face. The guard who holds me up throws me into the wall and I hit it with a loud bang. I fall down onto the floor and my body hurts too much to move. I hear a smack and Thomas saying  
“Do you want me to kill you? Because if you don’t shut up I will… And Ashton, by the way, we might need your services. His name is Kenneth Morrison, think you can do it?”  
“ No.” I croak out. “ I don’t do that shit anymore.”  
“Tsk tsk tsk, better hope you change your mind if you want your precious Daniel to live.” I don’t move a muscle but I manage to say  
“ I let you know.”  
He huffs and walks out of the door. I continue to lie there, even when Mark comes up to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder but I don’t do anything to acknowledge his existence. He pushes me over to the side and I open my eyes  
“Let’s see if I’ve still got some friends” I smirk. He looks puzzled but I sit up before he can say anything. I jump to my feet with new found energy and walk over to Felix. I smile at him to indicate that I’m fine and go to sit right beside the cell door.  
“ You’re not going to kill Ken, are you?” Felix asks and I smile.  
“ We’ll see, Fe” I say smugly. The pain in my body is dreadful but I do everything I can to ignore it. I look up at Felix again and see that he’s angry. He opens his mouth, as to shout at me but closes it when I shake my head. We sit there in silence, for hours, listening for something. After a while I wake up to a guard banging on the door.  
“ NO SLEEPING! We need you sharp, Ash!” It’s Will, Fuck. He opens a gap in the door and drops something wrapped in a white cloth. He closes it with a loud sound and walks away. I pick up the item and just from the weight from it i know what it is. I guess he knows me, even after all these years. I rush over to the box and stuff it in there, quietly smirking to myself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I think the reason I wasn't able to get any further is because the chapter was finished. I don't know though.   
> Anyway,,, here's a new chapter.

They keep asking questions about what it is and trying to force me to tell them what it is but I refuse to answer them.   
“ Merk!” I shout and he walks over to me.   
“ What is it?” He asks and I push the box to him with my feet.   
“ Take care of this and when I yell ‘Now’ you throw the cloth to me, get it?” I explain quickly and he nods. I smile and walk over to the door and bang my fists on it hard.   
“ HEY!! I’LL DO IT!!!” I yell over and over until my vocal cords hurt and my fists start bleeding. Finally the door opens and Thomas stand there, his clothes are covered in blood and he has a sħit eating smirk on his face.   
“ Glad you’ve come around.” he says and steps into the cell.   
“ NOW!” I yell and Mark throws the cloth to me. I catch it and reveal the shiny hand gun. I raise one eyebrow and cock it.  
“ You have no bullets, at least not yet” He says and I huff.   
“ You sure?” I say and point it at his head. “ You didn’t bring any guards so I guess you’re fucked.”   
“ Yeah, I didn’t see it was necessary… they created tension, and it’s way more fun to break you down myself.” A shiver goes through my spine at the words. I’ve heard them before, hell, I’ve even said them myself. “ See, your pain is visible. I can see you being broken down by the second. This is the fun part.”  
“ I know.” The words were out before I realise it. “I know that it’s fun but I’ve stopped” I told myself more than the Thomas. The truth is that I love breaking people, the way they kept asking questions and they became dependent on you to bring pain or pleasure. The trick is to not bring pain all the time because then they end up hating your guts.   
I take a harsher grip on the gun, the fine decor on in it pressing into my palms and the blood flowing out of my hands staining it. I force my face to stay in a stern shape but I know that Thomas can see right through it.   
“ It was Will who gave it to you, right? He always had a soft spot for you… or a hard spot, I guess.” I scrunch up my nose at him and point the gun away from him. I bow my head and I hear him walk up to me but I do nothing to stop it. He takes the gun and pulls it out of my hand. He empties it of bullets before throwing it away. His hand sneaks its way up to my cheek and he forces me to look at him.  
“ We both know you’re not strong enough to do this, sweetheart.” he says in a soft tone. He pulls me close and and pulls at my hair a little. I resist the urge to moan and bury my head in his shoulder. We keep standing like this for a while until someone pulls me away from Thomas and the next thing my face is acquainted with is Mark’s chest. I try to push myself off him, but Mark holds me in place.  
“ Oh, right… I forgot, Mark’s kinda in love with you. At least that’s what he said when we played with him.” Thomas says. My eyes crack open and I look up at his face. His cheeks and tips of his ears are red and he has an angry expression on his face. I push at his chest and he wobbles backwards. I walk with him until his back is pressed against the wall. He looks me in the eyes and I tell him.  
“ You’re not brought up in here. I love you, I really do, but there are certain things I can’t explain to you right now.” I nuzzle my hair into his chest, tears are filling my eyes and dampening his white shirt. His arms wrap around me and look up at him again. Even with all the bruises and things he’s been through he still looks beautiful. I feel a hand on my shoulder and my head turns to look at the person. It was Phil. He tears me away from Mark and pushes me back to Thomas. I struggle to try to push him off me but Phil is surprisingly strong.   
“You get him if you let Dan go.”   
“Phil, No.” Dan said from the floor. “ If you do it, I’ll break your face.”   
“Dan… somewhere we have to draw a line. You have become more important than him. He is going to get us killed.” I let my gaze fall to the floor. Stopping the struggling, knowing that every word he’s saying is true. He keeps talking and my head feels like it’ll explode from the confusion and pressure. Mark wants me to stay, Thomas wants me dead or to kill, Phil wants me to keep Dan safe, Dan doesn’t want that, Felix wants to protect me but we both know there’s no way he can.


	5. Chapter 5

I raise my hand with the gun up so that’s it’s pointing at the ceiling. I fire it. My ears began to ring. I look around and they all are covering their ears. I can see their mouths moving but I can’t hear them, tears are pouring down my face and onto the unnaturally white floor. I try to shout out “EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!” but I can’t hear my own voice. I take a few deep breaths before collapsing on the floor. The ringing stops and I can hear Phil saying something along the lines of “We weren’t talking, Jack.” but I can’t really make out the words correctly.  
“ In my head you were… DON’T YOU GET IT? I can’t help it, okay? I’m sorry that you ever got to know me! I didn’t mean for this to happen! I...I… “  
Phil walked up to Thomas and held out a hand to him. I look away but I hear the slap of two hands clasping together and Dan shouting words I don’t care enough about to listen to. Guards come into the room to pick him up and carry him away. Dan screams  
“ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, PHIL? I am not your responsibility! What makes you think I would want to leave Jack here? YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT! I Can’t believe I ever spent time with you! There’s no fucking way-”  
“ -You’re leaving?” It was Thomas. “I’m putting you in a car so you can drive home.There’s no argument here. If you tell anyone about this I’ll have no choice but to kill you. You never have to be scared again, I’ll be watching over you. Can’t have anyone forcing the secrets outta you, now can we?” I looked over at them. Dan was crying, so was Phil. Really the only one who wasn’t crying was Thomas. “ You know what? Why don’t we make an arrangement. I let all of you go. Just because I’m feeling nice. All of you leave and Lil’ Ashie here becomes all mine.” He looked over at me, smirking. Mark began shouting immediately, saying things like ‘ Fuck you!, Never!, I won’t leave him!”. But was shut up by Felix. Mark protested but Felix just ignored him. He walked over to me and sat down on the floor. He hugged me.  
“ Are you going to be ok? Do you want me to stay? They are all leaving, including Mark, but if you want me to stay, I will.” he said quietly. Quiet enough for only me to hear. I shaked my head “You sure?” I nodded. He kissed my forehead quickly and stood up.  
“ I trust him. I might not know any of this but that’s why I trust him. I say we take Thomas’s offer.”  
“ So you want us to leave? Have you forgotten everything we’ve been through these past few days we’re supposed to leave him here?” Mark shouts.  
“ Yes! “ Mark opens his mouth, he was speechless. He looks at me and nods slightly. A pain goes through my chest but I know that they would only get hurt if they stayed. I look away from Mark and onto the floor. He stays quiet and I hear them walking out of the room. I glance up quickly to confirm that it’s really what’s happening. They’re all walking out, guards following them.  
“ Buh-Bye!” Thomas said. He’s mocking Mark. After a while, assuming when they were out of the room Thomas turns around and looks at me. “ Guess we’re all alone. Just you and me, huh? Just like onĺd times.” I force myself to look at him. He looks way to happy for his own good.  
“ You’re a cannibal now? Really? I haven’t forgotten what you did to my neck, you fucker.” I say.  
“ nonono Ash, it wasn’t anything like that.” He came closer to me. His hand pressing over where the wound is. “ They can’t be here and we both know it. You need them, you won’t stay Jack without them. The funniest way to make them leave was to make them angry. And if they wouldn’t, there’s always chloroform.” He gives me a hug. I guess he expected me to hug him back because when I pushed him away his eyes got furious. He drags me up by the collar and holds me up in the air. He says nothing and I don’t move. He throws me against the wall. Again. Hi wall, How’ve you been these past minutes? Oh that’s great. And the kids? I’m so happy to hear that. Me? I’m not good, I’m afraid. Yeah my friends left me all alone with a fucking maniac psychopath. But I guess I’ll be ok. I am talking to a wall after all, I guess we’re not that different.  
Thomas pushes a button before walking out and the walls start to move, until the room is as big as a kitchen in a student apartment. I curl up in a little ball and the tears brim my eyes, threatening to fall. I’m alone, fuck, I’m really alone now. Small sobs somehow managed to escape me. I had no control over my body when it started to shut down. My breath became heavier and my head stopped the spinning. I felt entirely relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. It doesn’t matter where Mark and the others are. I’m finally able to fuckin’ sleep.


End file.
